One of the best things about being a fan of bad movies is that you’re never short of something good (or bad, depending on how you look at it. Or maybe the right word is you’re never short of something entertaining to watch).
Oh sure, you can save yourself for that really great (and usually rare) movie to come along. But here’s my problem with watching a really great movie – once I’ve watched it and been in awe, then I don’t want to see another movie for a while because I know it won’t be nearly as good.
Or, you can be like me, and, as Stephen Stills once sang, “Love the one you’re with.” or in this case “Enjoy the one you watch.”
Now, in desperate times when you want a bad movie, there’s always Lifetime Movie Network and SyFy. You’re almost always just a few minutes away from a really bad movie, something like “Deceit at Midnight” or “The wife he met online,” and SyFy offers such classics at “Sharknado,” with “Sharknado 2” just around the corner.
But the fun part is building up your own library of really cheesy movies. And my daughter added to it this year with a great Christmas gift – “Plan 9 from Outer Space.”
Plan 9 has been, for years, considered one of the worst movies ever made. And, thankfully, I wasn’t disappointed.
The basic plot is that some outer space folks come to earth to warn the earthlings of the dangers of atomic weapons and other inventions humans are tampering with. And so to warn the humans, the space beings decide to use “Plan 9.” I’m not sure what the other 8 plans are, or if they have failed in the past. But Plan 9 basically involves raising the dead and have these zombie-like creatures raised from the dead and then attack the humans. So the aliens raise a huge army of . . . 3 zombies.
How bad is this movie? Well, one of the main stars is Bela Lugosi. Unfortunately, he died early in the making of the movie. So the director has his chiropractor take over the part of Lugosi, but in every scene he appears, he holds a cape over his face.
I won’t spoil the ending for you, mainly because I’m not sure I understood the ending.
But I will say I’m not sure it’s the worst movie I’ve ever seen. It’s really hard to say any movie is worse than “Santa Claus versus the Martians”. That one’s hard to watch even on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
My all time favorite bad movie continues to be “Deathwish 3”, where the cops hire vigilante Charles Bronson to basically go around and kill bad guys. I never get tired of watching that one.
In the meantime, though, I think we should all be thankful for the small blessings life has to offer, blessings like funny bad movies to keeps us entertained. And thankful that there was never a 10th plan unleashed on us poor, pitiful earthlings.