Don’t kids just do the cutest things? They’re so cuddly and lovable and they’re all the time doing things that we think are so wonderful.
Except when they’re not.
Except when they’re doing something that, let’s face it, is about to drive us completely batty and instead of giving them a hug, we’d really just like to wrap our hands around their dainty little necks and scream something very loving and supportive like”YOU’RE DRIVING ME INSAAAAAAANE!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S GOOD IN THE WORLD, PLEASE STOP!!!!”
Well, maybe something not quite that nice, but you get the idea.
Such was one particular weekend when my daughter was around 8 years old . . .
We had been on a trip somewhere, I can’t remember where. But on the way back, we were listening to music, like we normally did.
It was at a time when my daughter had first started liking music. Music that my wife and I listened to, which was often music from the 80s. And my daughter actually liked it. Well, some of it. On this particular Friday, we were listening to some “Best of” cd and we happened across a song called “Come on Eileen” by Dexys Midnight Runners.
It’s an ok song. I had kinda sorta liked it back in my youth. But it turned out my daughter LOVED it. She wanted me to play it again. And then again.
Awwwwwww. How cute.
And when we got home, she asked if she could borrow the cd. And off she scampered to her room, clutching the cd case. She immediately put it on and began to play it in her room . . . not too loud, but just loud enough where we could hear it pretty much any where in the house. And she put the song on repeat.
Awwwww. How cute.
This was late on a Friday afternoon.
When I woke up Saturday, the song was still playing. What the . . .
Ok, I was starting to realize why most of the music from the 80s had been confiscated, burned, and the ashes scattered into the ocean in an attempt to rid the planet of this scourge that I had at one time actually enjoyed. (The music was originally loaded onto a rocket and blasted into space, until a superior life form sent them back with a note that basically read, “If you send us only your crappy music again, we WILL be forced to obliterate your planet with our giant and impressive ray guns.)
So I tried to busy myself outside. I mowed the yard – two times. I did the weed eating. Was anxious to help my wife buy groceries. But upon returning, there it was “Come on Eileen” echoing through the house much like it had been in my head.
Somehow I slept that night. But when I got up, it was still there. Eileen. In my daughter’s room.
That Sunday was one of only two Sundays I’ve been early to church.
Yet, Dexy was still there, crooning about Eileen.
Ok, that’s it! NO MORE! You win! I can’t take any more!!!
Sure, the song hasn’t been banned in the United States (yet), but this was inhumane.
Most of the time kids play music their parents don’t like. And they play it loud. But my daughter had found an even more diabolical plan – she played music we liked. And she played it at a reasonable volume.
AHHHHHHHH! What’s today’s youth coming to?
Somehow, I survived that weekend. And I can even still occasionally listen to music from the 80s with only minor injuries. But every time I hear the first few notes of “Come on, Eileen,” I slip into some type of shock and need immediate medical assistance.
I guess somehow it could have been worse. She could have been listening to Michael Bolton. And then I might still be in a coma.