It was a dark and stormy night . . . Ok, it wasn’t really dark. Or stormy. In fact, it was a bright, sunny August day. But dark and stormy would have at least given me an excuse for one of my most embarrassing moments. It was the summer before my senior year in high…
Tag: humor
Son’s questions continue to pummel fatigued father
If I had a dime for every question my son has asked me over the years, I can assure you that Bill Gates would no longer be the richest man in the world. Here’s another sampling of what’s been on my son’s mind in recent weeks. “When you were growing up, did YouTube only show…
A slave to peanut butter
If you were to cut my son open, I don’t think you’d find the usual innards that make up most humans. instead, you’d see nothing but a light, creamy brown color because I’m almost SURE that he is made up of nothing but peanut butter. Ok, I admit, you might find a few pepperonis and…
Sick child cured by Guitar Hero . . . maybe
My son has been sick here the last few days. He’s had a cough that sounds like a herd of opossum running around the race track with money on the line (I know this because I’ve seen them under our house. I lost almost $300 betting on them, too. But the corned beef sanchwiches were…
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth, and other misquoted song lyrics
I won’t deny it. When I’m in the car, I like to crank up the radio, find a song I like, and sing (ok, maybe closer to wailing) away. I won’t do it with others in the car. Not because I don’t want to share my voice, but my singing is so bad, it’s been…
Eating healthy can be hazardous to your . . . errr . . . health
I have a problem with balance. Now I know most folks think balance is a good thing, that we need balance in our lives. And in most cases, I would agree. But here’s my problem. I like to run and exercise on the one hand. But I also like to eat, and usually it’s stuff…
Cheatin’ at Pick-Up Sticks
I have a confession to make. I never cheated at Pick-up Sticks. But don’t ask my daughter – she won’t believe you. But first of all, how can you cheat at such a game? Second, why would you even bother? It’s Pick-Up Sticks, for goodness sake. When my daughter was younger (translated – more than…
The LAST noise a parent wants to hear at night
There I was, lying in bed, just about to fall asleep around 1:30 after tossing, turning, reading, and watching TV throughout the evening. I was finally just relaxed enough to doze off. The house was quiet and still. Then a terrible sound broke through the darkness: BLEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!! It’s the sound every parent hates to hear…
THIS was the best compliment I ever received?
I think we can agree that it’s always nice to receive a compliment. It picks us up and makes our day a little brighter. What’s the best compliment I ever received? Well, I’m not sure. But I do know the most interesting compliment I’ve ever heard. And I’ve actually been told this twice. Two entirely…
Even MORE questions from my son
As you probably know by now, my son usually has a lot of questions. Usually more questions than I have answers for. I guess what I should really fear is the day he’s the one giving me answers. In the meantime, here’s a sample of what’s been on his mind lately. “Can we have pizza…
Holding together the jello 