My son has been sick here the last few days. He’s had a cough that sounds like a herd of opossum running around the race track with money on the line (I know this because I’ve seen them under our house. I lost almost $300 betting on them, too. But the corned beef sanchwiches were so good – I was just scared to ask what kind of meat they really used . . . )
So on Monday and Tuesday of this week, I took him to work with me. I tried my best to nurse him back to health, using everything from the normal grape and cherry-flavored cough and aspirin meds to such things as voodoo and four-leaf clovers.
When no other cure would work, we called on (Dr?) Guitar Hero to heal my ailing son.
(Recently, I was in walmart, looking over the hundreds of choices of kids’ medicine, when I said hello to a man who was on the phone. He stopped talking on his phone for a minute, asked me what I needed, and when I told him some cough medicine, he mentioned his wife had just concocted this incredible home remedy. Desperate, I asked him what it was. He just happened to have her on the line, and asked her for the ingredients, which included such items as lemon juice, honey, and the ever-pleasant tasting olive oil. I think I might have thrown in some vodka for good measure. I figure if he couldn’t quit coughing, at least he might sleep for a while. And by the way, please don’t tell anyone I did actually did this – I’m a bit ashamed to admit it.)
Sure, I could have taken him to the doctor, but where’s the challenge in that? However, none of my home remedies worked. None, that was, until Tuesday night. He was already feeling better, so when he asked if he could play Guitar Hero on the X-Box, I thought, sure, why not.
My daughter was in band all through school. I think my son would enjoy that, too. But I’m lacking a bit in the music talent gene. I’m limited to playing up to two and a half notes on a toy kazoo. Oh, and I can play my I-Pod.
He doesn’t play Guitar Hero often, but he enjoys it when he does. And really gets into it. So he was playing along to such songs as Blondie’s “One Way or Another” and Steely Dan’s “Do It Again.” And I’ll have to admit, I was enjoying the music and wathing him have fun. My only disappointment was when he got booed off the stage during my requested song of “Crazy Train.” But recovered quickly enough when he played “Go Your Own Way” by Fleetwood Mac.
Yep, he was laughing, playing a pretend guitar, and having a great time. I was just about to pronounce him cured and trying to decide whether to send a check for medical services to Blondie or REM.
At least I was until he played his final song of the night. It was Willie Nelson. “On the Road Again.” After playing it, he said that it was his favorite song.
Uh-oh. It looks like this illness might be more serious than I ever imagined.
Holding together the jello 