I never really thought about the day
Where my friends and family would say . . .
Happy fiftieth birthday to you we wish,
Now go out and have some fun; and oh, your cake was delish! 
Getting older is a hard thing to do,
But for now I can still walk, and my food I can chew.
But there are parts that are a failin’
Running is harder, my physique is bailin’
I can’t see any more, I have to wear glasses.
I’m gaining weight around the middle from sitting on my as- . . . ummmm, molasses?
My hearin’ I’m losin’, and to that there’s no mistakin’
I pretend to hear, but it’s hard to keep fakin’
You say, “Come quick! You’re son got a stick jammed in his eye!!”
And I hear, “Would you like to try some of my grandma’s apple pie!”
To the food I eat, I’ve made some changes
My beer and burgers have become fruits and grains.
No, growin’ old isn’t easy.
Especially when I have to eat those little green peas-ies.
Sure I’m achy, sometimes hurtin’
But I promise this ain’t the final curtain.
There’s still life in these old bones, I tell ye.
Because I plan to keep on rockin’ til I’m a hundred and three.
Holding together the jello 