Strengths, weaknesses only part of who we are

“People only think about me in terms of what I’ve done wrong.”

It was only a snippet of a conversation. However, I didn’t think it was exactly true. It’s true that sometimes do only remember what we’ve done wrong. Of course, they may have had only one interaction with us.

Overall, however, I don’t think I agree. I think most people are going to remember us for what traits we put forth most of the time.

Some, probably, most people tend to be more forgiving, excusing the times we may have acted thoughtlessly.

Those of us who are kind or courteous or involved in the community or giving or whatever positive traits we put forth the majority of the time.

Of course, the opposite is also true. If we display bad behavior, then others will tend to remember us for those actions.

Rarely, however, is it that simple. All of us are made up of different strengths and weaknesses. We all display different traits at different times.

When I taught marketing classes, I used a simple method to show how we all could have a different perception of the same object or event. I would place a box on a table at the front of the room. Students on one side of the class saw one thing, other students saw something completely different.

Same object, different perceptions.

So am I saying we should all act in a certain way so that people think well of us?

No, not at all.

Instead, I’m suggesting we should be true to ourselves. “Be who you are,” as I also told my students.

It would be nice to be remembered in a good way, to have our friends think well of us in this lifetime, to make a good impression on others as a person they think highly of.

However, I think it’s more important to be the person who is important to us. Be the person that we can be proud of.

And maybe it’s more than just good acts vs. bad acts.

Maybe, if we really want to be true to ourselves, we should set the standard for ourselves in a different way as well.

We should also factor in not just our positive attributes and negative attributes.

But also, what are the obstacles we’ve had to overcome in this lifetime? What problems have we had to deal with to get to where we are today?

We’ve all had issues, certainly some people have dealt with horrific events I don’t want to deal with. Some have dealt with childhood traumas, others with illnesses, some with the death of a loved one. There are way too many to name.

As we look back on our life as successful or not, we should look not just at how others see us, not just at what we accomplished, but what we had to overcome in our lives.

No matter what positive traits you have, I hope it includes self-forgiveness. And if you don’t think that is currently one of your strengths, I hope you’ll consider working to incorporate that into your everyday life. Often we forgive family and friends, but often forget to forgive ourselves.

In our society especially, self-forgiveness is something we can all use a more of.