My buggy pushing reaches an apex

When you shop at Wal-Mart, there are certain things you come to expect: you’re going to be hungrier than you were at any point during the previous week, you’re going to see at least 2.79 people you know, and some amount of unplanned-for chocolate will be bought (and yes, possibly consumed) before you leave the store.

Gaze upon the BEST BUGGY in the world and despair. You can almost see the passing customers averting their eyes.

Gaze upon the BEST BUGGY in the world and despair. You can almost see the passing customers averting their eyes.

But recently I had a new experience at Wal-Mart. A glorious experience. An experience unlike any other I had ever had in Wal-Mart, where I’m sure by now I’ve spent a little more than 11 years of my life (most of it looking for spices that no longer exist or some form of canned tomatoes).

What was this extraordinary occurrence?

(Imagine a drum roll as I announce . . . )

I had the BEST shopping buggy I’ve ever had while shopping. EVER!

It was like the Buggy From Heaven.

Now you might think this particular buggy might have had a holy grail-type-glowing aura about it, but that’s what made the whole experience so special.

I pulled the buggy out of the buggy holding area that houses all the ordinary buggies. But right away I could tell THIS ONE was different. It was THE ONE.

First, none of the wheels went Ka-clump. Ka-clump as I meandered my way through the store. Second, I was able to make either right turns OR left turns.

There was a smooth precision to the complicated BUGGY MECHANISM. It was like driving the Cadillac of Buggies. And as I made my way around the store, I noticed that having such an incredible piece of machinery that responded to my every touch, my entire mood changed. I was happier. More at ease, relaxed. I found myself whistling to myself, almost like I was one of the Seven Dwarfs. And I was smiling and saying hello to passing strangers. (Ok, I usually say hello to unsuspecting strangers, but this time I MEANT it!).

Yes, my friend, I was cock of the walk. And I knew those around me regarded me with a veiled resentment.

But a sad thing soon happened: my shopping was complete.

I wheeled my bagged groceries out to the car, and with a teary eye I bid adieu to the greatest buggy that’s ever come into my life.

I’m sad to say that since then, my shopping experiences have been . . . lacking. I’ve had a longing for the that beautiful four-wheeled creature that was so good to me, if only for a fraction of my life.

Every time I venture to Wal-Mart now, the trip is underwhelming at best. I look around each time, hoping to see a glow emanating from the Chosen Buggy.

And every time I feel like I’m going to plunge into feelings of having an inadequate buggy. Of leaving the store unsatisfied. But then I just load my inferior buggy up with more chocolate, and that pretty much fixes everything.



  3 comments for “My buggy pushing reaches an apex

  1. June 7, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    Lucky you. But I have to ask: in what part are the country are you, where you call that a buggy? Here it’s a cart.

    • June 7, 2015 at 8:19 pm

      Ha! That’s funny you should ask. I live in the south. And what you call a cart/buggy is a sure sign of what part of the country you’re from. I started to call it a cart in this post, but my blog has a little bit of a southern flavor to it. Plus, I thought it just sounded funnier!

      • June 7, 2015 at 8:53 pm

        I thought it must be southern. It definitely sounds funnier. Good call!😄

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