Ok. I know last year’s birthday was a bit of a letdown. As you may remember, I was hoping to either have singer Sade sing Happy Birthday to me. Or I was hoping for a date with Sheryl Crow.
And while neither has indicated if she will be able to make this year’s party, I’m really not worried about it. Because this year I don’t need any validation from celebrities.
You see, this year’s birthday is a big un. It’s the big 5-0.
Yep. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true.
And what’s really exciting for me is that I think this birthday will finally marshal in my final growth spurt.
You see, I’m not a real big guy. So I’m hoping to add a few inches, and I want to add them VERTICALLY.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. When you get to be a geezer as old as I am, then I should probably just be happy to have all of my parts still working (well, most of them. A few need a little oiling from time to time).
And not only that, but I think I’m finally about to BECOME A MAN!
Again, I know it’s hard to believe, but I think I’m finally almost old enough to shave EVERYDAY. Now THAT’S exciting.
You see, not only am I not a real big person, I’m not a real hairy person, either. Some of you guys may remember back in our school days, the guys who were shaving by like fifth grade. And I remember thinking, it will be so cool when I can shave every day. Or NOT, and grow a cool beard or something.
Well, I’m still waiting for that day.
So you might be wondering where all my optimism is coming from. Well, there have been some signs.
Like for instance, I was counting my chest hairs the other day, and I noticed I was up to EIGHT! (I thought it was nine, but one of them turned out to be a crumb from a Hostess Ding Dong I had eaten earlier in the day. Darn! SO CLOSE!!)
Also, in the last 10 or 15 years, I’ve had to increase the number of times I shave from just one time a week to THREE WHOLE TIMES. A week!
Ok, so I admit it’s no taking Sheryl out for a good time (hint, hint) and it falls a little short of having Sade croon over me while I’m blowing out birthday candles.
But shaving everyday is something to hand my hope on. And that’s always important – especially when you’re still a growing boy.