I knew something big was coming.
It was an ordinary day at home, when my son came up to me and said, “Guess what?”
The announcement didn’t come with a lot of fanfare or the trumpets and pageantry of say the anointing of a new king. Or, even more rare, a win by the Arkansas Razorback football team.
But still, I knew something big was coming (or at least some material for a new blog post, and I wasn’t disappointed . . . )
“Guess what I can do,” my son asked proudly, a smile stretched across his face.
Hmmmmmm. The possibilities were unlimited . . .
Maybe he’s learned how to counterfeit money . . .
Or has taught himself the secret to brewing vodka at home . . .
Or maybe he’s finally figured out the power source for that time machine . . .
Heck, I’d be happy if he told me he had learned how to cook frozen dinners and operate the dishwasher.
But instead, I got this . . .
“I can play a song on my teeth using my toothbrush.”
(Cue sound of crickets chirping in the background.)
Oooooooohhh boy. Sigh . . .
Does David Letterman have a slot for Stupid Teeth Tricks? It could follow the Stupid Pet Trick.
I guess there was some merit to this. At least as much merit as there is in my ability to work jigsaw puzzles. Being able to work puzzles is a fun, exciting, and rewarding talent to have . . . until you realize there isn’t much of a market for Professional Puzzle Putter-Back-Togetherers. (I can see it now . . . Uh, excuse me, sir. I noticed you were having a little trouble getting that puzzle of yours back in shape. I don’t want to tell you what to do, but I can handle that job for you. I’ve got the Stephens’ 2,000-piece puzzle to finish up over the weekend, and then the Dunlevy’s have two 300-piecers, but I should be able to knock those out Monday morning. I should be able to fit you in Monday afternoon, and have your puzzle back to you no later than, say, Tuesday afternoon.) Besides, what would you even charge for something like that?
And if his first announcement wasn’t enough of a letdown, he followed it with this:
“But I can only play two songs.”
So, now what. Do I encourage this new-found skill? And if so, where would I start – enroll him in a music class or take him to a dentist?
I really wasn’t sure how to develop and nurture cutting-edge talent like this.
And finally, I got this . . .
“I can play ‘Take me out to the Ballgame’ and ‘Hark, the Herald Angel Sings.'”
Oh boy. This may be tougher than I thought.
But there is one consolation: we’ll be the biggest hit on the Christmas Party Tour.
AND, I expect a call from the Chicago Cubs ANY day. I think we’ve finally found a replacement for Harry Carry during the 7th inning stretch of all the games at Wrigley Field.