In the small town where I live, a small group of parents are working on a rather diabolical, although ingenious scheme, that will, in time, change, and yes, even SHOCK the world.
At least the world as it relates to soccer.
Sure, small towns in Arkansas aren’t known for revolutionizing the game of soccer, which is, I remind you, the NUMBER ONE SPORT in the world. But we are committed. And we are, as NIke would say, doing it!
How, you ask. Well, it’s a bit of a secret, but I’ll trust you not to tell the rest of the world. We don’t want them following our lead. But here’s how:
We have a soccer field with a hill that runs along one sideline.
It’s an amazing sight, actually. Time after time the ball will be kicked, heading out of bounds, only to sloooooowly stop . . . and . . . start . . . rolling . . . back . . . down . . . the . . . hill.
It’s fun to watch kids slow down as they think the ball will roll out of bounds, only to see the surprise on their face as the realization dawns that no, the ball is actually still in play. A look of horror overcomes surprise as players for the other team now have a chance at the ball.
How is this going to help improve soccer in the U.S. Well, I’m not a soccer expert, but it kind of reminds me of the line from the movie Talladega Nights where Ricky Bobby is required to drive a car with a cougar in it. Our situation is exactly the same. If you can play soccer on a field with a hill, you can play anywhere.
I can hear soccer fans around the world snickering as they contemplate our scheme. But I’m not going to say a word. Instead, I’ll just sit here smugly with a knowing smile on my face as I wait for out talent here to mature and take the world of soccer by storm.
Ok, I admit, it might not work. But hey, it can’t hurt, right? I mean, it’s not like the U.S. has won a World Cup in recent years (translation = EVER).
So go ahead you rest of the world you. Enjoy your World Cup while you can. Sure you’ve got tradition, and your cool-looking bicycle kicks, and your fancy-schmancy announcers who yell “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!
But we my friends, we have a soccer field with a hill. And we know how to use it.
Just get ready – we’re coming for you! World Cup 2042!
Catch the Fever!!