Oh, how I (almost) long to get a tattoo

I have to admit, I’m getting a little old and not sure I understand the fascination with tattoos. I try, but I haven’t quite grasped it yet.

My newest, and right now most favortiest, t-shirt. This is a Tame Impala shirt that I got at their concert in Dalls.

My newest, and right now most favortiest, t-shirt. This is a Tame Impala shirt that I got at their concert in Dallas.

But I like them.

That must be said. In fact, I generally like pop culture all the way around. My favorite things that are similar to tattoos are billboards and t-shirts. I’m always on the lookout for cool t-shirts.

I don’t have a huge selection of t-shirts, but I have a few. And I’m always admiring cool t-shirts that other people wear. That’s one great thing about teaching college – you always get to see new, cool t-shirts.

I do have a few t-shirts that I really like. For instance, my daughter and I went to see The National in concert a few weeks ago in Dallas. The opening act was Tame Impala. Now you might think I’m really hip or cool because I’m rocking with bands called Tame Impala. But I have to confess, I had never heard of them before the show. But, I really liked their t-shirt – it’s the one with the jellyfish. I don’t have a big collection of jellyfish t-shirts in my wardrobe. So how could I pass on an opportunity like this!

This is a t-shirt a student had made for me that uses one a phrase I use in class all the time when students try to use a "book" definition to explain something to me.

This is a t-shirt a student had made for me that uses one a phrase I use in class all the time when students try to use a “book” definition to explain something to me.

And I have other t-shirts I like a lot. Concert t-shirts from a lot of great shows. My favorite concert tee is from the Police reunion tour from a few years back. And I have a t-shirt that student made for me one time following the end of a semester. When I call on students to explain something, and they recite a definition that’s right out of the book, I tell them “That’s uptown language.”

However, I don’t have a tattoo – at least not yet. I want to get one. Well, actually, that’s not entirely true.

I want to want to get one. Real bad. It’s a strange feeling to want to want something. (It’s kind of like the NBA for me. I love to watch football. And basketball seems really neat, too. There are a lot of good players and cool plays and uniforms and promotions. And I want to want to like it. But somehow, it’s just not happening.)

For one thing when it comes to me not yet wanting to want one, I have kind of this allergy. You see, I’m allergic to pain. And getting a tattoo doesn’t seem like the most pleasant experience that’s available out there. In fact, ANYTHING that involves a needle doesn’t register very high on my Fun-ometer.

The second thing is, I’m not sure what I would get a tattoo of. It’s like I can never quite decide on what the perfect tattoo is. I’ve seen some really cool ones. (Of course, I’ve also seen some really bad ones. Like the young lady who had the word “Classy” tattooed in a large script down the side of her leg. Uh, excuse me, but does the word irony mean anything to you?”)

As a word lover, I'm afraid this is what I'd end up with if I got a tattoo, except I'd want to use my own handwriting, which would mean no one could EVER read it.

As a word lover, I’m afraid this is what I’d end up with if I got a tattoo, except I’d want to use my own handwriting, which would mean no one could EVER read it.

So what I really wish is that they could make electronic tattoos. You know, like electronic billboards, but only built on us as a tattoo. That would I could rotate through three or four tattoos at any given time.

And that brings me to billboards. I know a lot of people aren’t crazy about billboards, but when done right, I think it’s one of the neatest forms of advertising around. Of course, you don’t see it done right too often.

Which is a shame. There’s nothing quite like driving down the road and seeing a billboard that really grabs your attention or makes you think, “Ahhhh. How clever.”

So I’m not sure what to do about the tattoo situation. But the best thing to do might be to get a tattoo of a t-shirt with a billboard I like on it.

Here's a billboard that I've always thought was really clever.

Here’s a billboard that I’ve always thought was really clever.

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